Return Address of the Jedi

My son, although only three, knows almost as much about Star Wars as your average twenty-something male superfan. (Things they also have in common: virginity and living with their mother.) Ok, that was mean. Point being, the best part of his day is when we drive by the R2-D2 mailbox. I really earned some Mom points today by letting him get out of the car and see it up-close. (That should make up for forcing him to eat tacos for dinner every night this week.)

Have a good day, and
Mail the force be with you.

Happy Birthday To You, You Live In A Zoo, I'm Not Just Teasing, It's Actually True.

We celebrated Maddy's seventh year of hell-raising on planet Earth this week with a family shindig over at my mom's house. My mother showed off her Cake Goddessery by making a strawberry-and-vanilla checkerboard cake, which was equal parts delicious and confusing.


How do they do that?


Seven years. Whoa. Seven sounds exponentially older than six, which sounded exponentially older than five, etc. The morning of Maddy's birthday, I was getting very sentimental about my baby girl, being so grown up. In a lot of ways, I don't think of her as a daughter, but more like my sidekick. Sometimes I get sad when she's at a friend's house or with her dad because I want to spend time with her, because there's things I want to tell her, things I'd like her opinion on, like she is a peer. For a long time, it was just Maddy and me against the world, and that team connotation often times is more prominent than an overwhelming maternal feeling. She doesn't give me much of a chance to feel maternal, since she's been out-diva-ing me since she was two. These were the things I was thinking about as I was watching her get ready for school on the morning of her birthday, watching her as she checked out her reflection, making sure her bangs were perfect, then doing a full turn to check out her outfit in the full-length mirror. All growds up.


I was reminiscent that morning almost to the point of being morose, despite the fact that Chris and I were heading straight to my doctor's after we dropped the kids off at school. Chris was extremely excited- it was the day of the potentially-gender-determining-ultrasound, but I couldn't get too jazzed- I was so preoccupied thinking about all things Madelynn. I was also trying not to get my hopes up because both of my children required multiple ultrasounds to figure out what sort of equipment they were packing. Imagine that- my kids, shy? No, I don't think that's it, I think of it more as them being uncooperative. Ah yes, makes perfect sense.

Once we were in the dark ultrasound room, watching our baby on TV, I snapped out of my melancholy. There was Baby, wiggling and waving, face pressed right up against my uterus. And then there was the baby's body in profile, where the sound waves from the ultrasound machine projected such a clear image that it cast shadows through the spinal column like rays of sunlight through clouds. As the ultrasound technician moved the wand over my belly, the baby turned it's head to look at us dead-on. That part was kind of creepy... but, you know, really awe-inspiring at the same time. And, on the morning of my not-quite-a-baby girl turning seven, I got a present- the opportunity to do it all over again with another baby girl.

Here's to more pigtails, more bows, and more pink cakes in our future!

"Foodie" is short for "Food Snob"

(That's my honey in the background in case you don't get the joke. He gets paid to cook very hoity-toitily.)

And with only minor burns to show for it!

Invitations: Check.
Photographer: Check.
Exorbitant Stress: Check and Check.

Worth 1,000 Words

Ryan the Jovian took some awesome pictures at our BBQ last weekend, here's a few of my favorites:

Brady. Jovi gets the photo credit, but I'm the one who made him cute.


My adorable almost-niece, Skylar:


Andrea, from scout, doing some scouting of her own:


And there's some more photographic deliciousness this-a-way: Ryan Jovian's Virb Photos

I love my friends, and continue to hang out with them for the excellent company and the hope of gleaning talent through osmosis.

Chris won't let me touch his pot.

We hosted a fairly large-ish engagement party BBQ this weekend over here at Camp Cantwell. The entire day came as a not-so-gentle reminder that I am not as extroverted as I am inclined to expect myself to be. The amount of people who showed up for the BBQ is a fair representation of how many people will be at our wedding, and although I adore each and every one of them (EVEN MY FUTURE IN-LAWS!) individually, the grand mass of people as a whole is totally overwhelming. I am never, ever complaining about not being able to invite more people to the wedding again.

Aside from the chocolate covered strawberries and the deviled eggs, the best part of the day was when everyone had left, the kids were in bed, and Chris and I sat on the living room floor opening our presents. It's hilarious that we were so excited about things that we had essentially picked out for ourselves, but we were like little kids on Christmas. We ripped open presents, screamed, and were near delirious with glee. Well, except when Chris opened up the gift from his grandparents. When Chris saw that he had an All-Clad pot and pan in front of him, to call his very own, he looked as if they had been set in front of him by Jesus Christ Himself. I will state here for the record that my fiance ain't no sissy man, but he got tears in his eye. I think I tried to snap him out of his religious experience with his new cookware by saying, "You can use those to make something for dinner tomorrow night!" He looked at me like I had just suggested Rachael Ray run for president, or that I had told him I was really craving some frog legs. "Oh no no no no Honey," he said in a church-whisper. "I can't use these! I can't get them dirty!" Right. I'm sorry. I didn't realize when we were doing our registry that those were shiny stainless steel works of art we were asking for. Silly me. One can understand my confusion- they were right there in the middle of the cookware section. Next up, we opened up the coffee maker of our dreams. After the whoops and the high-fives, I made sure to clarify that we were actually allowed to use it. For coffee. We are.

And I'm sorry for anyone who, from the nature of the subject line, assumed I was referring to drug use. NOT THAT SORRY, FOOLED YOU! NEENER NEENER NEENER!!!

In the meantime: I'm not dying, we won't know till next week, and babies still like me.

I've been remiss in my blogging duties lately, which I feel guilty about. Is that odd? Is there something wrong with me? Am I missing some vital component that makes me wholly unresponsive to my growing piles of laundry, but completely conscience-stricken when I let my blog go a few days without seeing any action?

Here's what I've been swimming in lately:

1. I got my biopsy results back today. I am cancer-free! I am even pre-cancer free! I almost didn't believe the nurse practitioner when she told me. I had convinced myself, beyond shadow of doubt, that I had cancer. Since I don't have to worry about that anymore, I've cleared up loads of time to devote to stressing out about the wedding, and about the baby.

2. Speaking of Baby, we'll be taking a peep inside my belly via ultrasound in a little over a week. Hopefully we'll come away from the visit knowing that our baby is developing properly, and particularly, what exactly our baby is developing properly.

3. I spent some time with my friends' son over the weekend. It's been a long time since I've been around a 1-year old, and I was really excited to take a refresher course in Baby 101. I only watched him for about two hours, and I was sad to see him go. Here's a picture I took of Jacob:


Thanks for bearing with me while I neglected the updates...
You'll be hearing more out of me soon!

Photo Friday

Because The Crazy Hip Blog Mamas say so, I am posting this pic for this week's Photo Friday: Your Silly Little Baby Face. So, this might not techinally be the silliest photo I have on record, but the brilliance behind it is that while this shot is completely candid and taken mid-fit, Brady actually looks like he's having fun. This was a tough day... If you didn't catch the pic/post the first time around, it's right over here.

The rest of the submissions will put a smile on your face. Go give them a look-see if you have time. If you're intersted in anything crazy, hip, blog, or mama related, there's some brilliant blogs over there!

Tuesday, quickly.

Good morning!


Good night.

Boldog Születésnapot!

That's "Happy Birthday" in Hungarian, in honor of my grandmother. I'm actually not allowed to refer to her as a grandmother, because she thinks it makes her sound old. As long as I could speak, I've called her "Baba"- a nickname given to her from her Hungarian parents, which means "Baby." And I'm her baby still, which is a huge blessing (she helps me out more than I'd like to admit) as well as a huge frustration, at times (she can bring me to tears easier than anyone else in the world.) I love this woman more than I can express, and I couldn't imagine life without her. She's got so many qualities that I hope I can cultivate in myself, although I could live without ever becoming obesessed with a poodle. (Although I have to admit, it's part of her charm.)

When I called her today to wish her a happy birthday, I asked if her dog baked her a "pup cake", and I'll tell you, I was so proud of my spur-of-the-moment pun.
"Oh, no," she said. "Cookie just signed my birthday card 'Yours Drooley.'"

See? See where I get it?

Happy Birthday, Baba!

Baba & Nik, circa 1985 (?)


My favorite women on the planet, Christmas 2006
Baba, Myself, Madelynn, Mom, Jadyn
(You have to click on the pic to see my sister. Sorry J!!!)

Get In My Belly!

In other news...

It's hard for even me to wrap my head around, but the world hasn't stopped because I had (minor) surgery. Go figure. Yesterday, Maddy lost her front tooth, making her look like a Jack-O-Lantern. (A really adorable one, of course.)



I also finished the bloody invitations. I have to say that as much as I was dreading another trip to Michael's, it was actually a squillion times better than I was bracing myself for. I got a parking spot right up front, there was no line, AND I discovered a different way of putting the invites together that was just as cute and a heck of a lot easier. Mmmmm-mmmm, this Humble Pie tastes delicious. (I'm pregnant. Any kind of pie is welcome.) Here's how they came out:


And believe me, I'm thanking my lucky stars that I didn't have to tie each invite up with raffia like I was originally planning.


SEE WHAT I DID THERE? "Thank my lucky stars"???? Oh, I kill me!!!

Allllllllllllrighty then, I'm going back to my lazy Sunday. I just pulled some cinnamon rolls out of the oven. I'd invite you over for breakfast and Nintendo, but then I'd have to get out of my jammies, and I'm so not ready for that yet.

For what human ill does not dawn seem to be an alleviation? ~Thornton Wilder

The view from my backyard this morning, 8:40am:






"Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them.”
-John Shirley


Back to work I go today, after two glorious days off. I was hoping to be fully recovered from the Frankenstein of Colds that I've been enduring for the last week, but not so. As a matter of fact, I have been having such horrible coughing fits that I pulled a muscle in my already-awkward pregnant belly. I just can't catch a break.

I was able to do some interesting things this weekend aside from laying in bed whimpering. The higlights include watching my friends premiere one of their short films, which was really impressive. (Check them out at something directory.) Sunday, I feasted like a queen: lunch at my favorite restuarant with my grandma and then a kick-ass dinner a la Chris- Vichyssoise, fried spaghetti fritters, a kinda scampi-like thing with shrimp, clams, and lobster mushrooms, ceasar salad and garic bread. Um, best dinner ever? Quite possibly. (Although I think I say that every time Chris cooks for me.) I'm not sure if you caught it the first time around, but I did say fried spaghetti. My house still smells like garlic, and I am Vampire Safe for the next three, maybe four weeks. We also saw Reno 911: Miami, and both of us tried to think of the last time we saw a movie in a theatre that wasn't rated G. (I'm still trying to figure that one out.) Yesterday, Chris and I drove out to the Outlet Stores and walked a few miles. The only things we purchased were two pretzels and a cup of coffee: not a good walking to spending ratio. We did have a grand old time making fun of things, though.

And now, back to work. Happy Tuesday, everyone.

As domestic as I get...

The Desert Celebrates Something Withered That Is NOT A Dead Celebrity

You can see the rest of the (really adorable) set of pics here. You're welcome.

And now, my opinion:

In the Coachella Valley, two things are flourishing in noticable abundance: old people and palm trees. The old people are responsible for the terrible traffic on the main roads, and the palm trees? They're responsible for dates. The first Date Palm trees planted in the United States were planted here in the Coachella Valley in 1903, and I think the guy that brought them over from Algeria cut me off on Cook St. earlier today. The Coachella Valley continues to be the leading producer of dates in the US, contibuting over 30 million pounds of the wrinkley berries each year. In 1921, The Riverside County Fair & National Date Festival began as a celebration of date harvesting.

Did you know that the date has more potassium than a banana? They are low in fat and sodium, and high in fiber, iron, and magnesium... but none of that really matters, because the best way to eat them is in a date shake.

If a date shake really isn't your thang, I don't blame you. Lemme tell you what- it takes a lot more than a glorified raisin to get me out of the house, even if there is some ice cream involved. The real reason to go to the Date Festival is for the rest of the food.

My favorite food group is Fried, which makes any type of county fair like my birthday and Christmas rolled together, wrapped in winning lottery tickets, and deep fried with a side of ranch. You can't walk more than ten steps in any direction without being within smelling-range of some sort of food vendor. Mexican, Italian, Chinese, BBQ, Greek, Indian, American... everyone is representing in full force. The choices are so overwhelming that I actually envied the cows in the Livestock Stables- what I wouldn't give for four stomachs at a time like that! I settled on pizza, a bbq chicken sandwich, funnel cake, a churro, cotton candy, a date shake, and a deep-fried Snickers bar. I almost feel guilty about all the food stuffs I neglected.

Between meals, there's a plethora to do to take your mind off of how much weight you're going to gain in one day. There are plenty of booths scattered around the fairground selling (you guessed it) dates and other locally-grown snacks, as well as merchants who will airbrush custom t-shirts, paint your name on a grain of rice, or sell you something you had no idea you needed... and will probably break in 72 hours anyway. There's an art exhibition showcasing local schools' award-winning artists, a petting zoo, a livestock area, and ostirich and camel races. I will state, for the record, that there are few things in life I enjoy more than watching grown-ass men fall off large birds... but from a distance- ostriches really freak me the heck out.

And speaking of camels... it's a bit of a touchy subject with me. I went to the fair really, really, really wanting to ride a camel. Did I get to ride a camel? Nooooooo siree. Apparently my bump and the camel's bump aren't a winning combo. Isn't that a little hypocritical? I can understand dissueding a pregnant woman from riding the Bumper Cars or the Ring Of Fire, but a camel ride seems kinda tame to me. I mean, they let me ride the parking lot shuttle, and that went way faster than the effing camel did. Oh well, just another little piece of ammo I'm going to use against this baby when he/she is a teenager and wants a later curfew. "Past midnight? I don't think so. I couldn't ride the camel, your ass better be home by 12."

Chris and the kids got to ride the camel, and I sat on the sidelines, photographing the fun while I muttered under my breath. For that reason, I started referring to the festival as the (un)Fair. It's ok, though, because there's a lot of things I get to go through as a pregnant woman that they don't. Like morning sickness! And Childbirth. Ooooh, I bet they're so jealous of that! I'll be right back after I count my lucky stars.

I'm back. I got to three. They were: 1) I can use "I'm Pregnant!" as an excuse not to do anything, and they can't. 2.) I can pig out and claim that I'm eating for two. 3.) I can win almost any argument by saying "You're outnumbered! It's two against one!"

Anyway, back on track here... so yes, The Date Festival! Fun times! I managed to leave out the parts about it being totally ghetto, because Funnel Cake covers a multitude of sins. I'm definitely planning on going next year, if not to try the Krispy Kreme Chicken Sandwich that I whimped out on getting, then just for the camel ride. And I'm gonna make everyone sit on the side and just watch me.

I'm so lucky I was outside today.

(Forgive the camera-phone pic, but Leonard III was at home.)

Notice anything different about me???

Yup, I'm well on my way to becoming a REAL grown-up!!!

All I need is a (Super)bowl of chips.

Disclaimer: I am not a football fan.

Having said that, I'll tell you that the highlight of Superbowl Sunday (aside from the commercials and making fun of Prince durning half-time) was when my friend Andrea and I were sitting on the couch, trying to decide who we going to root for. She chose the Bears because she has friends in Chicago and family from Illinois. I chose... well, actually, I didn't, but that's beside the point. So, we're parked in front of the dip, which is parked in front of the TV, discussing what team's uniforms we liked better, which players looked too fat, and why some of them were wearing Victorian Muffs/Fannypacks. Then we noticed that she and I, the only two people who didn't even know who was playing until we got to the party, were the only ones watching the game. That made me laugh harder than the Kevin Federline fast food commericial... but just barely.

By the skin of his baby teeth...

When Brady was being assembled in the Baby Building Factory, he was equipped with a life-preserving device, something I have come to refer to as the "Charmometer". This child can tell when he is within seconds of pushing me over the edge, and at the precise moment where I am seeing red and about to have a nervous breakdown, he whips out the most angelic, TV Sitcom Cute Kid routine and earns himself the privilege of seeing another birthday. This picture was taken in the midst of one of this morning's many tantrums/fits/crying jags. To narrow it down for you, this one didn't involve urinating- that came about 20 minutes later. This entire morning felt like Brady was at war with the little angel/devil on his shoulders. The angel was bound and gagged, and the devil was slipping Brady skittles and double-dog-daring him to see how far he could go before I threatened to send him away to Swiss Boarding (Pre)School. Let me just put it this way: I was so overwhelmed this morning that I wanted to tell Brady, "Oh yeah, keep it up Kiddo. I'M ALREADY GROWING YOUR REPLACEMENT!", but I didn't. Instead, I called my breakfast date to tell her I was running late, and cried the whole way to my pancakes.

Needless to say, when it was time to pick Brady up after school, I wasn't looking forward to it. As I walked through the door of his daycare, Brady came barging towards me full speed and locked himself around my legs. "Mommy! Know what? I missed you!" (Insert maternal heart-melting noises here.) All I really have to say is that I am so thankful that the aliens who abducted my son while he was at school could not have picked a better day to do it. Boarding School will have to wait until next semester.

Good intentions and interventions.

I had to make a quick grocery store run on my way home from work/picking up the munchkins, and I had a very strict list. All I wanted to get was something to cook for tonight's dinners. I use the plural because I've become accustomed to eating two dinners- a little snack with the kids when they eat, and then another little something with Chris when he gets home from work a few hours later. I would like to take this opportunity to point out that my health care professional recommends that I eat many small meals a day, and I'm not just a glutton. For the most part.

I asked Chris what he wanted to eat tonight, and he asked me to just pick up some snacks. He said he wanted apples with peanut butter, or maybe a ceaser salad. (I might have mentioned something about not wanting to buy any more junk food- and for the record, I meant it at the time.)

I didn't manage to make it out of the grocery store with apples.
Or peanut butter.
I did remember to grab a bag of ceaser salad mix.
And ice cream.
Or, more accurately, ice creams.

I use the plural because... I couldn't help it. I was powerless! Last night after dinner, I was hit with an overwhelming urge for something cold. (I know. Most people crave flavors, and I'm the weirdo who goes and craves a temperature.) I would have killed a man bare-handed for some ice cream last night. Not wanting to find myself in a similar predicament tonight, I thought there was no harm in strolling through the frozen food aisle. Well, once I opened the door for my urge for dessert, common sense had not only left the building, but got ran over in the parking lot. I couldn't stop at one pint of Ben & Jerry's, because I couldn't possibly decide between my Old Standby and a new flavor I'd never seen before. I had every intention on stopping there... but then, when my kids began salivating the moment said pints hit the shopping cart, I became really protective. Sure, they're my hearts and souls and all that sappy stuff, but do I really want to share my ice cream with them? The answer to that question is embodied in the quart of Root Beer Float ice cream that I threw in the cart so quickly, it almost bounced. Then I noticed the bright yellow tags behind that freezer door, yellow tags teasing me with the promise of a better bargain if I bought two. I would be very impolite of me to turn down such hospitality, so I picked up some Breyer's All Natural Strawberry. Did you see that? "All Natural." So it's good for me. Natch.

The "low" of my shopping experience had to be when Madelynn was unloading the shopping cart as we were getting ready to check out.
"FOUR ice creams, Mom?"
"Yeeeeep!"
"But Mom," in a hoarse whisper, "what are people gonna THINK?"

Breyers Ice Cream: Two for $6, with Club Card
Ben & Jerry's: $3.99 a pint
Having Your Six Year Old Discourage Your Ice Cream Purchase: Effed Up.


Half of Brady, with our magnificent array of frozen delights. (Maddy was too embarrassed of me to be pictured.)