Saturday, April 28, 2007

Like whoa.


For any of you interested in photography, I suggest taking a look at the Freefall Photography collection by French photographer Denis Darzacq. It'll blow your mind, if you have one. ;)

"La Chute" (The Fall)"

Friday, April 27, 2007

Move over Bridezilla-

Here comes WIDEZILLA.



My wedding dress finally came in! My mom ordered it for me, so I tried it on when I went over there for our weekly family dinner last Wednesday. I'm sorry, I don't think "tried it on" is the right term, because that implies that I could actually get the damn thing on.

All my life, I've been between sizes. I'm one of those people who has to try everything on, and being pregnant is no exception. They tell you to order based on your pre-pregnancy size, but I don't think there is a seamstress in the world who could anticipate how big my belly is in comparison to the rest of me. (Stop rolling your eyes, dear reader. If it makes me feel better to blame it on the dress maker, LET ME HAVE THAT, OK?)

So, back the dress goes, with another one, a bigger one, on it's way. I believe the dress is being walked over from Pennsylvania, based on the shipping estimate. The other problem is that Dress V.2 is going to be way too large, and will require a great deal of altering to give the illusion of "Nicole In A Dress" and not, "I thought I was coming to a wedding, why is there a huge circus tent walking down the aisle- oh wait, it has a face! Is that... NIK?" Under normal circumstances, alterations would be a mild annoyance. In my present world? UM, YIKES. I need this in three weeks!

Well, there you go. I've felt like lately, this blog has been severely lacking in entries of the "Bitching and Moaning" variety. Up next? Probably something gooshy about Chris. We got our marriage license today!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Infectious grooves ?

Chris went in yesterday to do the routine Drug Testing for his new job, and after he was done, he picked me up from work and we went and grabbed lunch. As soon as he started up his car, reggae music came blasting through the stereo.

Him: "Sorry babe, I just felt like listening to reggae now that my drug test is over with."
Me: "What do you mean, 'now that my drug test is over'?"
Him: "Well, I couldn't listen to it before my drug test. This reggae music is potent stuff."

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

On writing our vows...

Chris and I are working with Revered Stan to pen out the wedding ceremony, and as we were reading a list of tradtional openings (as in "Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here together...") I wondered, Do you think I could convince Reverend Stan to do this???

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

The Story of Us.



Tonight, I started filling out paperwork for the Reverend who is going to marry Chris and me, and about halfway through page five, when I was listing his maternal and paternal grandparents, something hit me.

I haven't practiced my new signature!

I immediately grabbed the first piece of scrap paper I could lay my hands on and started practicing. As I scribbled my new name over and over again, I thought about some of my favorite moments with Chris and felt like I had been run over by a huge Mac Truck carrying a lifetime supply of Lucky.

Often, when my mind has time to wander, I think about the first time we met. I was fairly certain I'd never find what I was looking for, and was still letting the super glue dry on my broken heart. Chris was a San Diegan who had spent the last few years in San Francisco, and had followed a job lead out to My Neck Of The Woods. As fate would have it, not only did I know his new boss, but I had caught the bouquet at his wedding. After a quarter of a century wondering about my future husband, I met him on my very own doorstep. If either one of has had done just one little thing differently, none of this ever would have happened. It's something that boggles my mind, that overwhelms me, that makes me believe in love and fate and God and makes me like a country song.

And now, aforementioned Love of My Life is home, so I'm going to exit stage left.


I can't believe I made it through an entire post with little to no sarcasm! Expect overcompensation tomorrow!

Saturday, April 21, 2007

A creamy sauce for my stuffed shells, possibly?

This weekend, I'm trading in my lazy days off without the kids for two 8 hours days at work. Downside- running around all day. Upside- not only am I making some extra money, but more importantly, I'm not giving myself the opportunity to spend any money.

It's a wee bit after 10, and I stopped by the grocery store on my way home for work so I can make a dinner for Chris and I to eat together when he gets home. I know it's a little late for dinner, but hey, at least I'm cooking it myself and not leaving it up to a bunch of wiley teenagers who may or may not remember to ask if I want fries with that.

Here's a thought for you before I go back to stuffing my shells: (no, that is not a sexual innuendo. I'm much too tired for that, and I am literally making Stuffed Shells for dinner, perv.) Wait, what was I going to say? I started thinking about stuffed shells as a metaphor and kinda got lost in X rated images of my super hot fiance...

OH YES. What I was going to say is that I really, really hate when people have cryptic personalized license plates. My thought is that if you're going to fork over the cash to sport a vanity plate, at least make it something decipherable, so I don't waste the better part of my day trying to figure out what that random slew of consonants is supposed to mean. Because I will. And the day after that. It will haunt me for the rest of my life. I have actually wanted to pull up next to people at red lights, do the international "Roll Down Your Window" gesture, and ask what their license plate means, but I think I'm one notch above that level of desperation. I will admit, though, it is a very feeble notch.

Enjoy your weekends, yous.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Wined, Dined, and... uh...

4-18-07 001
Last night, Chris and I were collectively wooed by his next potential employer, The Viceroy. The place is swanky digs, reminiscent of old Hollywood. Yes, I could live there. Chris has had a bevy of interviews over the last week, and last night, Chef invited us to have dinner at the resetuarant. The meal was insanely good, and as I nibbled at the dessert tray, Chef told Chris that he was the top candidate for the job and they would have a definite answer on Monday, after they check a few more references and run a drug test. We both tried to keep cool, which was hard for me because I get excited like a puppy gets excited, and hard for Chris because they kept sending him cocktails and wine. This is a job that Chris is capable of doing, but a huge leap upwards for him. It's also a big leap of faith for the resort to take as well- Chris is decades younger than other people who applied for the job. He sailed through the verbal interview and kicked ass at his Iron-Chef type cookoff, but I think he is a lot younger than what they had in mind.

The whole job search was prompted by the fact that Chris's current Chef-boss, the Sickeningly Talented Aaron Barnett, is looking to relocate and set up shop in Portland. (You have been reading scout, haven't you?) Chris (and I) can't stand the thought of him staying on at his current restuarant once Aaron leaves. Chris deserves a wee bit more money, and the opportunity to work in a kitchen where there's more than two other people there who a.) care, b.) know what they're doing, and c.) don't attack him with a knife when they're angry.

The Viceroy was soooooo inspiring, it felt like the entire place was posing for a picture. I wanted to take photos of every little detail, but didn't want to look like Big Huge Touristy Geeks, especially since Chris hasn't been officially hired yet. I did sneak a couple pics of the place, which aren't great because I was trying to be as stealth as possible. For a better idea of the grandeur of the place, check out the website I linked for you up top.

Click the pictures to enlarge...

The Dining Room:
Citron dining room

One of the pools:
Viceroy Pool

And us! (This was before dinner, in our front yard.)
4-18-07 004

All right, off to work for me now, sadly.
Have a great day-
Even you, Sanjaya Malakar.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

If this picture doesn't make you smile...

... then you've probably had a week like mine.

My brief attempt at optimistic encouragement, courtesey Keith M Johnson.

Expect a rant from me soon...
Properly warned ye be, says I.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I'm the fortune-ate one...


Chris and I had a delectable Chinese feast for lunch yesterday, and we got hooked up with the fortune cookies because I knew our server. We have a history of getting eerily accurate and applicable fortunes (yes, I know they're purposely generic so everyone thinks that, but I swear it's really true for us!), but this one that Chris opened has to be my all-time favorite, especially if you play the "In Bed" game.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Oh no no no no no!

Britney Spears and Howie Day?

Apparently, they met in rehab and she's fallen hard. Apparently, Howie Day is a great kisser. Apparently, I can no longer listen to a Howie Day song from now until the end of my days without thinking about Britney saying that.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Inanimate Object of Lusty Thoughts of the Day



For a mere $14.00, this print of a painting from one of my favorite movies (Amelie) could be mine. I want this really really really badly, and yet, oddly enough, not badly enough to buy it for myself. *HINT HINT*

This is from the Almost Famous shop on Etsy, where there's a whole lot of awesome going on- like the Fight Club set.



See? Told you!

And it seems to me you lived your life like a flashlight in a breeze?

Dead celebrities are screwed. I'm still all muddled up with feelings of ickyness about the Kurt and Courtney movie, and first thing this morning I'm getting bombarded with Anna Nicole Smith's diaries. Ok, as much as I'd like to be indignant about this, I don't really think Anna Nicole would oppose everyone and their grandmother reading her diaries. This is the same woman who made a characticure out of herself on a reality television show. I don't consider it being invasive either, it's more like evidence or an opportunity to understand more how this strange woman became such a strange woman. Maybe it will finally answer the question, "How smart is Anna Nicole, I mean really?"
And diaries. I think everyone has to realize that at one point, they might fall into someone else's hands. Anne Frank and Harriet the Spy are both prime examples. As I was reading clips of Anna Nicole's entries this morning, I couldn't help but feel that they were written for that very purpose. On an online poll this morning, 75% of voters said that publishing Anna Nicole's diary was disrespectful, but only 32% of voters said that they would not read them, if published. I hate hypocracy almost as much as I hate poor grammar, which is why I will probably stay away from reading the diaries in their entirety. Although, if someone wanted to read them for me and then give me a detailed report, well, that's ok.
Maybe this is sick and twisted, but I really hope that Elton John records a version of "Candle in the Wind" for Anna Nicole. And I hope Weird Al collaborates with the lyrics. You know what? I think I just figured out how I'm spending my Friday night!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Oh well, whatever, nevermind.


So, they're casting the upcoming Kurt and Courney biopic. Ewan McGregor and Lindsey Lohan? How about Jared Leto and Drew Barrymore?

The Scoop: Casting for Kurt & Courtney

Whatever it is, it can't be as disappointing as Last Days.

OR CAN IT?

American Idle : And then there were 8

"Two legends collide: Tony Bennett meets Sanjaya." From Ryan Seacrest's mouth on Tuesday's show to God's ear, apparently, because another week has gone by where Sanjidol isn't even in the bottom three. I don't get it, and it's making me really hate Howard Stern. At first, I thought he was garnering the magicially appearing votes from the tween contingent, like Kevin Covais/Chicken Little from the previous season, compounded with the fact that he's the first Indian American to be a finalist on the show. Now? Now I think I just hate Howard Stern. And, as usual, I agree with Simon- if Sanjaya wins, I'm quitting the show too. (Here's something scary- on an AOL poll I checked this morning, Sanjidol was ranked #1. No, that was not a typo.) Sanjaya's a nice kid... a nice, shaggy haired, soft-spoken, hula-dancing kid, but an American Idol? Kelly Clarkson would eat him for breakfast. Hell, Clay Aiken would eat him for breakfast. Look, I just gave myself the option to segue into a gay joke, and I'm not taking my own bait! I'd much rather talk about Haley Scarnato's legs. And I will, I promise.

Tony Bennett coached the Idols tonight, and it seemed like most of his direction involved encouraging the contestants to perform the songs more like he did. I'm not about to argue with Tony Bennett, but he seemed to discourage every performer from messing with the classics. After seeing what some contestants did on British Invasion week, that probably wasn't a bad idea. On the topic of bad ideas... um, Mr. Bennett's yellow blazer. He looked like he should be hosting a cable-access game show.

Blake was the first to perform last night, which kind of ruined the whole "I can't wait to see what Blake's going to do!" thing, but that's ok because it wasn't very good anyway. He sang "Mack The Knife" which will always remind me of the big McDonalds Moonhead guy singing about a Big Mac. Sigh. The judges were happy enough- actually, a lot more positive than I was. I don't think Blake has to worry about going home for the next few weeks, but I've come to expect a lot more out of him. Blake, you've let me down. You're going to have to try super hard to find a wiggity-wigga-way back into my heart.

Phil was up next, and all I could think about was how much he looks like Nosferatu. And the guy from the movie Powder. It's just creepy, I don't care what he sounds like. He sang "Night and Day", which the judges thought was disconnected, lacking passion, and gloomy. (I would expect nothing more from a vampire.)

Next up was Melinda. She's so good, even Simon can't think of anything negative to say, much to his (and my) chagrin. Really, she's awesome. I'm not sure if I still believe that suprised "Who, me?" look she gets on her face every time she's complimented, but she does seem humble. I think her only problem in this competition is that she seems like she's in a completely different league from the rest of the contenders/contestants. First of all, she seems much older than everyone, and not exactly the same level of "fresh" and "hip" that we get from Jordin, Blake, and Chris. I think she will have a fabulous recording career in front of her, I'm just not sure she is the right one to win the competition. She does have the same last name as my grandparents. I will investigate the liklihood of us being relatives.

Chris Richardson! It's my completely unprofessional but strong opinion that he gave the best performance of the night, as far as modernizing a classic goes. He sang the hell out of "Don't Get Around Much Anymore", and although it looked like he was dressing up like Justin Timberlake for Halloween, it really worked. This week (and last!) he gave the performance I was expecting from Blake, which means I am now a huge Chris Richardson fan. You should be too, ok?


Jordin Sparks was up next. This girl is adorable! Incredibly, she's the same age as Sanjaya, but a million times the better performer. Ryan Seacrest has predicted that she'll win the comptetion, and although she's not my choice for number one, I would love to see her in the Top 3, and wouldn't think it crazy if she took the whole thing. Tuesday night was a little boring for me, though.

Who knew this would be the week Gina Glocksen went home? I thought she sounded pretty good. Then again, what do I know. It's not like I was voting for her anyway. For the record, though, I did anticipate her staying around much longer than Phil and Haley, and in a perfect world, outlasting Sanjaya. Poor Gina looked upset at the results, and who could blame her. It's one thing to know it's your time to go, and quite another thing when you're standing next to an oiled Barbie and told that she got more votes than you.

Following Gina that night was the man, the myth, the legend, the Sanj. I've been trying to watch my language lately, but this really deserves a "WHAT THE FUCK?" I'll admit that I loved Sanjaya in the very, very, very beginning, but once Hollywood week was over, I thought it was time for the cute little sentimental boy to go home. Why is he still here? I sing with more enthusiasm in the shower. It's gotta be all the hype from stupid stupid VoteForTheWorst.com. If he sticks around longer than some of the really and phenomenally talented people, I think he's going to get assasinated. Not by me, mind you, but it seems most of America is pretty riled up about this. Once Phil, Haley, and Sanjaya leave, the show is going to get really interesting.

I would gladly keep Sanjaya around for another week if we could all please, please just send Haley home. If I have to watch her wiggle all over the stage with her plunging necklines, coy expressions and overly-greased legs, I'm going to scream. I roll my eyes so many times durning her performances that I have blurry vision for the rest of the night. Her voice? It's not horrible. Her body? Wow. But Haley needs to stick to the beauty pageant circuit. Maybe the auditions for that Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders reality show were right next door to the American Idol auditions, and the poor thing got confused? I know she's nice to look at, but think of it this way: the faster she gets kicked off, the faster she'll be posing naked somewhere.


Last up was LaKisha, who always seems to end her songs with a mean ole pout. The girl's got some massively large... pipes! I don't really like her as much as Melinda and Jordin, and definitly not as much as Chris R. and Blake. She seems to be loved by the judges and has stayed out of the bottom groups so far, so I'm assuming she'll last for another few weeks as well. Look, I don't really care, I'm just hoping to get rid of Phil, Haley and Sanjaya so the real competition can commence!

And Paula? Paula. Please, please please fire your stylist. You only look good to you, and that's because of the drugs. And maybe you could do something other than the same exact ponytail you've been sporting for the last few weeks? You paid a lot of money for those extensions, you should really be showing them off.

I just realized how long this post is. I am so sorry. No judgement, ok? ;)